Escapism.

by The City At Night

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about

Escapism is a concept EP that explores the themes of loss and the stages of grieving. Escapism tells the story of a man who experiences loss himself, and follows him through his downfall and desire to escape this unwanted reality.

credits

released November 16, 2014

Lyrics by Jake McMillan
Music by The City At Night
Produced/Mixed/Mastered by Sam Bassal
Recorded by Sam Bassal and Zack Glass
Artwork by Warwick Hughes (Photography)
and Pat Kearney (Design)

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about

The City At Night Melbourne, Australia

The City At Night are a 5 piece hardcore band from Melbourne, Australia.

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Track Name: Empty Home / Hollow Place
This house is not a home - The air hangs heavy. I cannot be here or co exist with all these ghosts in the walls. This is the day I died inside. The beginning of the end of me. What happened here is scarred and will not fade. The rooms are empty, theres dust on the floor. Not a foot print, not a trace of someone. This empty home, this hollow place. There is nothing here.

Everything is falling apart right in front of me and theres nothing that I can do but let it consume me. How can you take everything away, expecting me to just be fine? It’s like you took a piece of me and told me I could get it back, just to laugh in my face. Optimism only exists where there’s hope still left. I want to believe that there's more to this, that every thing happens for a reason, but I cant for the life of me see the higher purpose here. This is so surreal, I cannot comprehend. I'm so fucking lost here.
The door was open, but there was nothing inside. Why was it open? There is nothing inside. The door is open and now I’m empty. I can’t stay in this place I once called home. People always say keep your chin up, everything will be okay. They never mention that there is a chance won’t.

Optimism only exists where there's hope still left. I want to believe that there's more to this, but I’m struggling to find a reason.
Track Name: Lie To My Face
These nights are feeling far too cold sitting in an empty room alone. I still don’t get it, I don’t understand. I just don’t understand how this can feel so far away from the place I used to felt so safe. I just don’t understand, I used to feel so safe. Time doesn't even seem to pass anymore. Things aren’t the same since you walked out the fucking door. This was supposed to be a family, you were supposed to cake care of me. Everything I had and everything I love, I would trade it all to go back to the way things were. Turn back the clock, do things differently. Lie to my face, tell me none of this is real. Lie to my face, tell me it will all be okay. I just don’t understand how this can feel so far away from the place I used to felt so safe. I just don’t understand, I used to feel so safe. Please say something to fix this.

I miss those pictures on the dresser, smiling faces chased my fear away. Now just empty space. Now just memories and dust.
Track Name: Separate Myself (Escapism)
It’s all too much. I’ve been so strong. I’ve bared this weight for too fucking long. I need to get out, I need to escape. It’s like I’m trapped in my own head, lost in my mind deeper and deeper. I want to escape. Get me out. I’m losing grip on myself, I feel I’m fading away. Trapped in my past, I’m fucking losing myself. All I want is to forget everything. I want to get out, I want to separate myself from all of the things I have done, but I cannot sleep, I try to feel - I can’t feel anything. No faith can help, no higher power can fix the pressure caving in my chest. The bottom of the bottle gives me some relief, have another drink so I can feel alive. Waking up with the taste of alcohol and regret lingering behind. I don’t remember how I got here, all I know is I need more. I hate that I love it. I hate that I need it. My wallet is empty and so am I. I’ll do anything to feel alive. My hands are shaking, cold sweat, desperation, and he’s walking alone on these empty streets.

I hate that I love it. I hate that I need it.
Track Name: Blood On My Hands
Catching my breath, but it’s sinking. What have you done? I alway told myself, “When life got hard, I will try to be strong enough to overcome my fears.” Well look at me now. I am weak, a murderer, a coward. It’s now a part of me. It runs through my veins. I alway told myself, “When life got hard, I will try to be a pillar of strength.”

Blood on my hands, the colour fades but the feeling is stained forever. I never meant to. It was one punch and then his head hit the ground. He stopped moving, he stopped breathing, his eyes rolled back in his head. I can’t recall the last time I felt so scared.

I always told myself, “well I’ve got heart, I will try to be stronger than this coward I’ve become,” like the coward I’ve become. I’ve ran away from everything, but I can’t run from you. If there is a heaven and you’re there, will you forgive me? If there is a heaven and you’re there, can you forgive me? I’m now a shell of a man. So fucking selfish, so fucking senseless. I ruined your life. If there’s a heaven will you forgive me?

If there’s a heaven will you forgive me? If you’re in heaven can you forgive me?
Track Name: Live With Nothing / Die With Less
What happens now? Who have I become? I’ve lost it all. I have no one, no one to blame. How can I look at myself knowing I’ve caused limitless pain, and for what? My happiness or downfall? This self abuse, my addiction has taken over me. Now I sit here every fucking day writing letters to myself. No one will read them. No one cares enough anymore. I’m a good man fallen off my path. I search for redemption for the sake of those I love. I made my own bed, I chose my path, I took the easy way out, and I ran from the troubles that face me.

Even the voices in my head won’t make a sound. The only thing worse, is the silence I’m left with now. That empty home never leaves my mind. Why was it open? There was nothing inside. I’ve lost everything I had, and I’ve lived with nothing. Now the choices I have made will ensure I’ll die with less. I ruined more lives than my own, and for what? For an easy escape from the trouble of my past.

Now I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I fear no evil. I only fear myself.
I’m sorry.